Enjoying my life more is the advice I have never followed.
Enjoying life more has been the advice I’ve never followed. At least not in the way my best friend meant it.
The beach is just a few steps away and my hair is all over the place because of the wind. It was a warm night in North-East Egypt and we were in a hotel that offered all-you-can-drink alcohol served in a plastic glass.
There is no glamour in drinking rum in a white plastic glass, but the setting was a bit of a paradise with the sea next to it. Our friends and a bunch of strangers were around a table getting drunk to the beats of African music and a dog-cheap yellow rum served (also) from a plastic bottle.
It was probably around 1 a.m. when my best friend, who I thought knew me more than anyone else, dropped me that line people have spat at me many times since I was a kid
"You should enjoy life more", she said.
I haven’t seen my best friend from Ethiopia for almost a year. Im talking about the friend I had lunch with every week before the pandemic started, hanging out in nightclubs, and having dinner every other day. This was the friend I was speaking with day and night; that too-afraid-to-be-vulnerable friend who couldn't accept that, yes, we were best friends.
You should enjoy life more.
She was accusing me of not enjoying life enough.
Her accusation was surprising to me. Not because I didn't hear that type of demand before. But because it came from her. As if the lunches, dinners, and waves of laughter we shared didn’t suffice her expectations.
She probably didn't think it through, or she didn't mean it as a big deal.
Or perhaps it was the plastic-bottle-rum mixing her words.
What she didn't know is that enjoying my life it's something many people have insisted on much throughout my life.
Get drunk, get crazy, don't over-think, don't plan, just live the moment. Just do it. Enjoy your life more.
It took me many years to make peace with myself about the way I enjoy my life. Being fine with being the first to fall asleep at the teenager's pajama parties. Being fine with preferring to go early to bed on a Friday night — in my 20s.
It took me a while to recognize that the way I enjoy life is not the cool way.
And to be happy with it.
This blog post is in response to the weekly Creators Hub WriteHere prompt.